Legendary NFL coach Bill Parcells had one rule:
“If they want you to cook the dinner, at least they ought to let you shop for some of the groceries.”
Translation: If you expect me to win with the team, I should be able to pick the players.
Now, let’s talk about your agency.
Right now, you’re not picking your players.
You’re letting someone else do it for you.
- Your past clients
- Your partners
- Random people who “know someone looking for help”
These people are deciding who you work with.
They’re doing the shopping for you.
Which means?
You’re left cooking with whatever ingredients they drop on your doorstep.
It’s no wonder growth feels unpredictable.
You don’t have a client acquisition strategy.
You have a client lottery system.
And that’s why referrals keep you stuck.
Why Referrals Keep You Stuck in the Losing Column
1. You’re letting other people pick your clients.
Would Bill Parcells let the team owner, the janitor, or a random guy at a bar draft his players for him?
No shot.
So why are you letting random past clients and friends decide who should work with you?
Referrals bring:
❌ The wrong budget
❌ The wrong expectations
❌ The wrong business model
Your actual dream clients?
They’re out there hiring someone else—because that someone else isn’t waiting around for a handoff.
2. Referrals only come when other people feel like making them.
Imagine building an NFL team but only drafting players when someone randomly suggests one.
That’s how most agencies “build” their pipeline.
Some months?
🔥 “We’re slammed with referrals—great problem to have!”
Other months?
🧊 “…Anyone know a good lead gen agency?”
That’s because referrals aren’t a real strategy.
They’re a random act of kindness.
And random acts of kindness don’t scale.
3. You’re always playing defense instead of offense.
If you’re running your agency on referrals, here’s what’s actually happening:
- You’re reacting to whoever comes your way.
- You’re taking whatever deals land on your desk.
- You’re hoping this month’s introductions are better than last month’s.
That’s not strategy. That’s crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.
And if you’re playing defense in business, you’re losing.
4. The “networking hamster wheel” is killing your time.
Ever notice how the people most obsessed with networking… never seem to have actual clients?
Here’s why:
❌ The right clients aren’t wasting time bouncing between networking groups.
❌ The wrong people want to “build relationships” forever and never actually buy.
❌ You keep getting “referrals” to people who need free advice, not an agency.
Meanwhile, your real competitors aren’t at these events.
They’re running a sales machine that predictably brings in high-value clients.
The Fix: Start Picking Your Own Players
The agencies that break free from referrals do three things differently:
✔ They control their pipeline.
They don’t just “hope” for new clients—they create a consistent flow of high-value leads.
✔ They set the criteria for who they work with.
They don’t wait for random referrals—they target the exact clients they want.
✔ They build a system that works without them.
No more networking hustle or “just putting ourselves out there.”
You have two choices:
1️⃣ Keep waiting and let other people decide your future.
2️⃣ Take control, build a system, and make sure the best clients come to you.
Which one sounds like a real business?
Frequently Asked Questions About Business Development vs. Referrals
Q: What’s wrong with referrals?
Referrals are unpredictable, uncontrollable, and unscalable. They happen to you—they’re not a system you run.
Q: How do I transition away from referrals?
First, fix your positioning. You need to be known for something specific before you can build a system around it.
Q: What’s the difference between business development and lead generation?
Lead gen = Throwing tactics at the wall.
Business development = Installing a process that consistently attracts and closes high-value clients.
Q: What’s the first step to getting control over our pipeline?
Stop waiting for clients to show up and start choosing who you want to work with. The best clients don’t come from luck—they come from a system.
Final Thought: If You Want to Win, You Have to Pick the Players
Bill Parcells didn’t build winning teams by taking whatever players got handed to him.
And you’re not going to build a winning agency by taking whatever referrals show up.
The agencies that scale don’t:
- Hope for leads. They engineer demand.
- Wait for deals. They control the pipeline.
- Take what’s given. They choose their own clients.
If you expect to win the game of business, you can’t rely on someone else’s draft picks.
So…
Are you ready to build your system?
Or are you going to keep cooking with someone else’s groceries?